How to step out of a sh*t storm

For many people I know, the world is a tsunami of a sh*t show right now. Health challenges, the loss of loved ones, career issues, financial problems, anxiety, and multiple other forms of stress. I, for one, am looking forward to seeing 2023 in the rearview.

So, how do we not only cope, but keep our nervous systems regulated enough to remain healthy not only physically, but mentally?

I don’t know that there is an answer, but I do know there is a step in the right direction when I’m able to take it.

At the beginning of the year, I traveled on a plane for the first time in years because my best friend was told to go home and get her affairs in order when she was discharged from the hospital after a serious heart event. It was a hard visit for a lot of reasons, not the least of which was I didn’t know that I’d ever see her again after I left.

It was especially challenging when she didn’t feel well enough to see me for a few days. I felt panicked but busied myself with work and stupid television to distract myself from reality. But I also balanced the sadness and fear by reaching out to other people I knew there.

For me, connection is that first step out of the sh*t storm. It doesn’t change what’s going on, but it changes everything around it.

I made plans to have dinner with friends and was very happy I had brought my Evan Biddell playsuit to dress up in. If you’re not the savvy fashionista I am (LOL), Evan won the first season of Project Runway Canada, and his signature piece is the playsuit – a fun romper-like jumpsuit that he makes in a variety of wild patterns.

As I waited for my friends on the deck overlooking the bay, I noticed the beautiful artwork on the wall comprised of ivy and silk flowers and a pink neon sign with the name of the restaurant. While admiring it, I heard someone come up the steps. We smiled at each other and as he passed by, he said, “You blend right in with the art!” I laughed because he was right.

We chatted for a bit and he told me he was the artist. Then, out of the blue, he reached out his hand and said, “Give me your phone and go stand in front of it.” I hesitated for the slightest moment. Forever self-conscious about my weight, I was reticent to do a model shoot with the dinner crowd growing, but I decided “what the hell?” and went for it.

I posed stiffly for the first few shots, as he moved around like a photographer, bending his knees and instructing me to move in particular ways. “Give me lion!” he barked and before I knew what I was doing, I obeyed.

It was the most fun I’d had in a while. And all because I was willing to connect with a total stranger.

Dinner was wonderful, catching up and reminiscing with friends I hadn’t seen in a decade. The food was delicious, the company better and view spectacular. The experience lifted my spirits and I drove over to my favorite place on the bay in the Mustang convertible I’d rented and connected with the water and full moon.

The next morning, I met up with an old friend at a funky coffee shop. The staff was friendly and the ambience eclectic. We enjoyed cappuccinos and muffins while sharing stories. I still felt the sadness and apprehension, but the connection comforted me.  

The following day, I was blessed by a friend who’d arranged a brunch at her home for me and several friends I knew when I was a member of the National League of American Pen Women. I received gifts from some including a beautiful journal, prints of artwork on notecards and even a check to help defray the costs of the trip.

Once again, the reason for my trip lingered, but the love and connection I felt didn’t allow it to overtake me.

On my last day, my friend felt better, and we donned our best Thelma and Louise scarves for a ride in the convertible that ended with dinner alfresco at Outback. It was a lovely excursion, and I was beyond grateful for the time we were able to spend together.

She was still ill. I still didn’t know if I’d ever see her again. But the connections I gifted myself with made sure I didn’t sink into a rabbit hole of depression and panic.

I don’t always remember to do this. These last few weeks have been a beast and I was swallowed by the exhaustion and stress of the situations life presented to me. But today, I made a conscious choice to take that next step and I feel completely different.

P.S. My friend is alive and kicking, making jokes and supporting me in ways I cannot describe and I’m forever grateful.

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I hope you’re enjoying The Mosaic Platypus! My writing here is a piece of how I do my part in this world - pay rent and electric, donate to worthy causes like World Central Kitchen and Rainbow Railroad, and serve as an ambassador to humanity by connecting people from diverse experiences. There are opportunities to be a part of this work by purchasing a paid subscription to The Mosaic Platypus or making a contribution through Buy Me A Coffee. Have a great week!