Fulcrums, Frustration and Fallacies

What I can do for a world gone mad

Life on a fulcrum. Privilege versus protection. Who decides what’s right?

I constantly struggle to find balance these days. Perched on a fulcrum between awareness of my privilege as a white woman and the knowledge of the horrific goings-on in the world, how do I decide if I’m choosing not to involve myself in current events because I have the privilege to make that choice or if it’s due to the toll that inundating myself with the details wreaks on my mental health?

The idea that there is one answer that works for everyone all the time is the very definition of a fallacy. I don’t have the answer for you. I don’t even know if I have an answer for me. What I do know is that there is no way to hide from the genocide, murder, and war raging in the world right now.

Whether you’re a cable news junkie, listen only to NPR or avoid it like the plague, some of it is going to leak into your world. From the David and Goliath battle being fought between Russia and Ukraine and the daily destruction perpetrated by both Israel and Hamas to the 20-year-old genocide taking place in Darfur and the ethnic cleansing of Christian Armenians by the Azerbaijan government – and let’s not forget the human rights violations the Chinese have inflicted on the Muslim Uyghur people in the Xinjian province – it’s a bubbling cauldron of hate and violence.

Regardless of the reason, all these conflicts are rooted in colonization, a plague that has enriched a few while destroying everything else in its path. The drive to control others, to prove you have the bigger military, the better belief, the only right way has been a blight on humanity in ways we don’t even realize. And I do believe it’s each our responsibility to speak up and take action toward peace when the opportunity arises.

I want to do “something” and find myself constantly questioning where the line is. Where is the demarcation between my wanting to be an agent of change and the inevitable damage that comes from the anxiety and depression that results when I listen to the BBC News Hour or see videos of bleeding children?

The truth is, I can experience only so much awareness before I’m literally teetering on the edge of a “what’s the point?” rabbit hole from which extrication is not easy. When I’ve fallen in before, work doesn’t get done, bills don’t get paid, and a wall is erected between my creativity and the ability I have to express it. All of that feels horrible. How does that help anyone?

I still debate how much involvement is healthy, while realizing that my privilege even allows me to have a choice. I have the privilege to wear a skin color that doesn’t get me clocked as a potential thief when I walk into a store, foster assumptions about my education, zip code or bank account, or encourage people to treat me as less than.

I recognize this along with the responsibility I have to do everything I can to dismantle the culture and system that created those antiquated beliefs and behaviors, which includes taking on the onus of educating myself so I can understand the things my non-white friends think and feel without charging them the emotional labor to explain it to me.

All that being said, I have concluded the old adage “put the mask on yourself first, then help others” is what’s best for me.

There are things I do on a daily basis and others that are consistent, if not every day.

First, I make it a point to educate myself. There are actually still things called books that detail the history of world events and trace the money that supported violence and colonization - little, if any of which, is taught in the public education system. Then I do my best not to support those entities if they are still around. I started with American History I never learned about: An Indigenous People’s History of the US, Lockdown America, A People’s History of the United States, Guns, Germs and Steel, and Before the Mayflower.

I donate whatever I can to organizations that don’t use 50% of donations on admin costs. You can find that information at GuideStar. Two of my favorites are World Central Kitchen and Rainbow Railroad.

I am kind as much as possible. It may sound like a bunch of hooey, but I believe that kindness begets kindness, the same way violence perpetrates violence. I am not perfect at this. But it’s an attempt worth making every time.

I share information from social media on other accounts after I’ve vetted it. I shouldn’t have to say it, but you can’t just believe everything you hear on the internet. And vet your vetting sources. I don’t trust anything anymore until I know who’s funding it.

I vote. Even in midterms where the percentage of turnout is pitiful. This may not seem relevant, but it IS. Most people in Washington don’t start with a national office. They begin as local politicians or judges. I spend the hour to investigate the beliefs and behaviors of the judges up for reappointment or election as well as seemingly meaningless offices like a local DA or Controller.

I use apps like Buycott, which allows me to vote with my wallet and 5 Calls that makes it easy to contact my government representatives on issues that matter to me. On both of these apps you can decide what you feel aligned with supporting.

I have conversations with people who don’t agree with me. What a novel concept. We all suffer from confirmation bias that comes surrounding ourselves with only those who agree with us. I do my best to put my cognitive dissonance in check before it erodes my critical thinking and prevents me from hearing what someone else is actually saying. I still may not agree, but I mostly come away with a better understanding of why they feel the way they do, which deepens our connection.

I pray. Not the “thoughts and prayers” kind of praying that politicians send to the families of school shooting victims, but considered words that I feel when I say them. Here’s an example from my friend Julie but I also write my own and encourage you to do the same.

Finally, I make self-care a priority. Because if I don’t, I don’t have the energy to do any of things I just mentioned.

There are days this doesn’t feel like enough. There are days I feel I invest too much energy into trying to make the world a better and safer place. When I go to bed at night, I ask myself if I’ve done what I can. And most of the time, the answer is yes.

Please share how you deal with this conundrum in the comments.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hope you enjoy The Mosaic Platypus! Sharing stories knowing they have the power to spark memories and nurture healing is a piece of how I do my part in this world - pay my bills, donate to worthy folks in hard situations and honor my role as a link in the chain of evolution.

The capitalistic strategy of subscription levels - you can see “this” if you pay to subscribe, otherwise you only can read “that” felt icky. I want to share this writing in the most inclusive way so all of what I write and do with the podcast-lette is available to everyone regardless of whether you pay.

If you’d like to support what I do, there are opportunities to be a part of it by purchasing a paid subscription to The Mosaic Platypus for only $5/month or making a contribution through Buy Me A Coffee. Have a great weekend!